Lost in the world
Friday, July 02, 2004
Yiru just came back from Cambodia and asked how things are and how others in the class are. Made me realised that all this time I have not been going out with other fellow homo sepians. Treks, movies etc..... all by myself. Even during the Sungei Yong trek. I didn't feel like cracking dumb jokes, I don't feel like I have that energy to behave like the hyper active energizer bunny I once was. Maybe this is called growing up and mellowing. Otr maybe this is what happens following the realization of how fleeting everything is especially friendship. What remains fundamentally yours is your family and yourself.
I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone, first by bettering my English. Got this vocab book from Pauline, the now officially NIE graduated English and Maths teacher. I'm trying to follow up on my own promise, make a clip using dream weaver for sis's wedding. Make good on the things I said I'll do. Next will be trying to cook, try to learn autocad and sign up for buddhist class.
Monday, June 28, 2004
Came back form my luxury trek to Sungei Yong in Kluang yesterday. It is amazing how small Sinapore is compared to other country. I treked past so many falls, albeit small ones in my 3 hour trek from our camp. And jumped into at least 2 deep natural pool. I seem to have this penchant for jumping of elevated ground into pools of water of unknown deep.
My theory is that people fear what they do not know....they don't know if there are rocks submerged in the water. They don't know if there are water snakes etc etc. This all prevents them from taking the plunge (including fear of heights) I deduce that I must be too stupid to fear all this which is why I dare to jump and climb all the way to the top. This I conclude after seeing that the trek of 24 people, only around 12 climbed to the top pool and only 5 dared to jump in.
This is the first ever trek I've been to where there's a BBQ dinner with crabs, prawns, stingray, red wine and martel. One woman got so high she puked 3 times in here tent and her tentmates had to find alternative accomodation. Either I'm too stone, I'm too tired or the fact that I only know 2 other persons in the whole group, I didn't really mingle and just went to sleep early. I was told my my tentmate that I sleep like a log and didn't even stir when she came in.... Gift or curse.....
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Been out taking photos at bukit timah, mcritchie and botanical gardens. My theory is that usually female appears less threateniing than male and definitely more approachable, which is why female in sales jobs usually can rake in better sale figures than male. Just look at The Apprentice.
It's a show created by Mark Burnett, the creator of the mother of reality series Survivor. Insteaad of sttranding 16 people on deserted island, the guys are now to work for Donald trump and the eventual winner gets a year contract as the president of one of Trump's companies, high pay guaranteed. They are divided into two groups and assignments are given. The less successful group will have to go to boardroom where one person in the group will be fired, as opposed to voting at tribal council.
The two groups went on their first assignment, selling lemonade with a capital of $250. Guys sold lemonade for a dollar or two and made a grand total of $500. Interestingly, this guy called Sam, a really conceited and arrogant jerk by my standards, tried to sell a guy lemonade for $1000 a cup, telling the potential customer that if he buys it he would have The American Dream. Duh. Sam claimed vey confidently it would work and even if it doesn't Trump would be impressed with his guts.
The girls had a minor strife and the cocky wall street top broker has probably the lowest EQ ever seen on TV. Unbelievable. When the white house political consultant told her, alone, that the girls were a bit unhappy that she wasn't doing enough work and she has to try harder to blend in, the broker immediately went to the girls and said 'Are you guys unhaapy that I spent $2 on lunch'...... How dense.... Anyway, the girls sold lemonade that came togther with her hp no for $5. Subsequent cups were at the same price but came with a kiss instead. The girls made $1200....... My conclusion: Sex sells. Cute girls sells. Why do you think guys go to exhibitions with skimpily clad models armed with a camera?
Amazingly, the first peron to be fired from the guys side was a doctor with a MBA, the person with the highest academic qualifications. The one who Sam said 'I don't understand why he spent all that time in school when he should have spent it doing business'
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Bro not happy since his gf went back to Canada. In the past, we would talk about it till way past bedtime and mum would come to the room out of sheer frustration and order us to stop talking so she can get some sleep. Now...... not that case any more.
Keep getting this very out of body experience, like I'm invisible and people on the streets can see through me, like a third peron looking at myself.... Must be the fact that too many people around the house and too many morning of mum vacuuming and mopping while I'm still asleep in the living room...
Just watched Japanese Story. The review don't do it justice. The pace of the story development is good. not like La Papillion where there's a hasty ending. It's poignant, non-corny, good and appropriate music..... and a good closure. Toni Collette is an excellant actress =) Can't really tell she was that suicidal single mother in About A Boy
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Sorting out my old mail and came upon this silly email exchange:
Swee Cheong:
Last call...who's interested in Cameron Highlands on Gd Fri? Let me know by tomorrow...need to book early to avoid disappointment.
Following are some places of interest
hiking to one of the highest peak in west malaysia...it's actually quite easy
Air terjun...Robinson Falls, Parit Falls etc
Observation tower/hides, forest trails
wildlife observation
strawberry park
tea plantation
orang asli settlement
rose gardens
vegetable farms
butterfly parks
last heard, Sin Lee, Adele, Soh & Quek interested.
we're looking at bare bone necessities, coach ride to Cameron Highlands and cheap accomodation, that's all...juz free n easy when we're there...budget for coach, accomodation and food should not be more than S$150...if you can get a good deal, we're all for it.
I've some material on Cameron Highlands, let me know if u guys wanna read up
Yan:
wah so cheap........i got idea, go east coast rent a bicycle & cylcle to cameron, bring tents so that u do not need hotel rooms,
like that confirm damn cheap <$50
Swee Cheong:
Eh Yan, focus on your shutdown lah...ride bike, reach there, touch the lamp post and come back izit?!
Yan:
no lah cycle all the way there to bet $50,000 on one hand of black jack.............
Swee Cheong:
hallooo...u cheong the wrong hill already lah...it's not Genting!!?
Yan:
oh oh sorry....i work too hard........
Just finished City of Joy by Dominque Lapierre. Found my self better able to empathize with the slum dwellers of Calcutta after reading the book. Still remembered the first time I set my foot on the streets of Calcutta and was in a total culture shock. Still remember the lot of us at the meeting at Darjeeling, voting against returning to Calcutta for the extra day created by the flight delay.
I only wished that I had read the book before going to Calcutta so that I would be able to appreciate the place more. And the shame and sadness that I felt, when in the book, it described Hasari Pal making an advance sale of his skeleton for 500 rupees to provide a dowery for his daughter. That amount was slightly less that the amount that Hoi Fatt, Chin Yen, Xuebin and me spent for lunch at a restaurant in Calcutta......
Taken from City of Joy by Dominque Lapierre
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is costly, care for it.
Life is wealth, keep it.
Life is love, enjoy it.
Life is mystery, know it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, don not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it!
~ Mother Teresa
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Went for training today after a 4 month haitus. Lotsa changes..... Jason broke up with his gf and got a new one, Wenlong ended his 5 year relationship, Jianli quit his job (after 3 months, Coach went on a retreat to China........
It seems that maybe as we age, our lives are characterized by love lives and jobs. Nobody really care or have time and energy to careabout your hobbies, what sort of drinks you like, how many people are there in your family.... People are characterized by which school/faculty/industry they are in, the person they are going out with/married to........reminds me of The Little Prince.
Got pushed into performing qigong and sword for the Combine Mrtial Arts Display and Sports Camp....... All cos I'm a girl (and Jojo is the only other female and I'm unemployed (a.k.a free and ready labour) Realised matial arts is no like riding a bike. All doesn't come back naturally to you. Guess it's anothre uphill climb again. And in the 1.5 months after graduation, my brains seem to be turning into marsh. Need to have somee mental stimulation to keep my mind sharp. No joke. Really slow at following hwta Chenhui was trying to teach. Think my reflexes are retarding.
Went to the Lord of the Ring exhibition yesterday. Eye opener. Have a profound respect for the behind-the-scene people. The amount of detail involved in the whole set is umimaginable....
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Just fell in love with Puss In Boots in Shrek 2. So cute with the large innocent eyes, just like a neopet.... OOOOOwwwwwwww........
Harry Potter 3 was not as good as expected. Don't like the new guy who replaced the late Richard Harris as Dumbledore. Too much hand movements and bad hat. Doesn't give the commanding feel. And that quite a few important stuff like who mooney, padfoot, wormtail were and the origins of the Marauder's Map were left out...
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is good. Like the review that 8 days gave...
"Is not love, after all, memories of shared experiences good and bad?
The heart does not forget even if the head wants to
And the heart is willing to forgive what it doesn't forget: The anger, the hurt, the fights, the flaws"
Even after any shred of memory about that person is removed, will you still fall for that person if you meet him/her again? If you are given another chance with someone, given information about what you hated about that person, will you still go out with him? Spanish poet George Santayana said "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Wll everything end up being the same again? Is it possible to replace someone, like what Elijah Woods tried to do?
Reading. Me the squirrel. Lots of books. LOTR, Roald Dahl's collection of adult short stories, The Curious Incident of the dog at nite time, Norwegian woods, lotsa books that jac lent me, library books..... I wonder if I was blindly following in Ysc's lead. After the Himalaya trek, I find that suddenly birds don't seem that interesting, Haruki Murakami and David Mitchell not as intriguing, Joni Mitchell and the Cowboy Junkies not as soothing.
I've stopped listening to music. I read all sorts of books. I need to find myself and not mould myself using someone else'd model. I seem to have lost my ability to think and analyse deep. Something's seriously wrong. it's taking me effort to appreciate movies. It used to be an enjoyment, not effort.
